foreign friends in Kathmandu

While considering the pros and cons of separate holding tanks for urine and feces in a toilet for a non-agriculturalist family, my friend from Spain, the middle-aged family man who loves the act of lovemaking and defends and participates in prostitution, this friend invites me to try the food at his favorite Tibetan restaurant. We discuss love and specifically the physical act of sex. His view of the relationship between man and woman is based on hedonism and he enjoys seeing a woman experiencing pleasure, even when it involves a fee. If you feel uncomfortable or shy reading about sexual, my friend would consider it his mission to help you to free yourself from your personal repression. He’s a caring and attentive person, but I have difficulties with his view of women as prospects.
My belief in a man’s ability and necessity to gain strength from unforeseen difficulties and to see these difficulties as blessings is a view that hedonists cannot hold. I think these thoughts of mine have come from reading Victor Hugo and Ayn Rand. 


In my current situation this view is a survival mechanism. Daily I focus on the survival of my soul and it’s ability to see the beauty in the world. I don’t mind the melancholy, so long as it’s personal and meaningful. I accompanied the Spaniard to a dance bar, though he wanted to find paid sex that night (he had already had paid sex that afternoon). We shared a bottle of Tuborg with our rickshaw driver at the second dance bar, which was as bad as the first and I decided that these places are a waste of time and money. I am in survival mode. In this mode, I believe that it is necessary to assess my sense of life through my perceptions. I’ve decided that reading Immanuel Kant’s ‘Critique of Judgment’ to form and understand aesthetic abstractions. I am currently surrounded by beauty which is the objectified reality of the artist’s own sense of life. There is the art of man as the art of the divine that I can identify with. As Ayn Rand says in The Romantic Manifesto, ‘the pleasure of contemplating the objectified reality of one’s own sense of life is the pleasure of feeling what it would be like to live in one’s ideal world… a moment of love for existence.’ 

Back to the dance bar. As I was sitting watching some bad dancers having a good time on the stage, I saw one of the employees, a young lady, sitting alone and looking bored. I just gave a warm smile and she smiled back. Then the Spaniard, seeing my interaction, starts asking me if I want her and all such talk going right to the point, as is his style. When I look back, she had sensed the tone of the conversation through the wily smile and hungry looks of the Spaniard and was no longer smiling at me. It was then time to leave. 

The next day I go to see a singing competition at a Nepali restaurant with a Gandharba friend and two other guys that end up not having any money after ordering a drink (the foreigner is expected to pay for his ‘friends’). 

a singing competition.. I danced like a true Nepali 🙂

There is wonderful dancing, singing between men and women and live instrumental music. This is a tradition of the Brahmin caste I’m told. I dance Nepali style with some other men in front of the stage and have a great time. It’s a wonderful evening until the bill comes and then it seems that it is traditional for the foreign caste to pay.


2 Responses to “foreign friends in Kathmandu”

  1. Gary Smith Says:

    Hello Paul, I have read what little you have put up on your blog about your life and thoughts in Nepal and I must say, You are so Western in your thinking! Like all good, concerned people trained in our schools you have a definite plan of action. You make decisions and carry them through and you will, no doubt, accept responsibility for what happens and, moreover, you expect accountability from both yourself and others. You are definite and you will do what you say you will do. The only problem, as I have found out so many times, is that after you get everyone agreed and the time for action arrives you will discover that your so-called plan has vanished into thin air. No one shows up, much less carries through on anything decided. After you stop pushing it all along. there will be no momentum to carry it or them on down the glorious road to fulfillment. There will be nothing there at all. What you thought was so definite, agreed and understood, wasn’t. The road wasn’t anything at all. In fact, upon looking deeper into the puzzling, maddening situation, you will discover that the whole world never was really created. There was never anything there. Nothing. Or Sunyata or Nirvana or whatever you want to call it. If you can get used to it, it is rather thrilling. Just the foreign thrill you went there to find.

    • paulsclevenger Says:

      My friend, while I’d like to say that I hope you are correct, I don’t wish to hope. You’re words are already ringing true. I will continue to observe and let life unfold as it does. When will you be back here?

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